


To Punch a Nazi

by jellybeanforest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: It is canon that Captain America punches Nazis, M/M, POTS Stony Stocking, Politics, punch a nazi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29270232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeanforest/pseuds/jellybeanforest
Summary: “I can’t believe you punched a Neo-Nazi on national television.”“You’re surprised? I can’t believe there are still Nazis left to punch.”For RoseRose who prompted "Captain America Steve punches neo-Nazis." For the POTS Stony Stocking 2020.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2020





	To Punch a Nazi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RoseRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseRose/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [RoseRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseRose/pseuds/RoseRose) in the [stony_stocking_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2020) collection. 



“I can’t believe you punched a Neo-Nazi on national television,” Tony tells Steve as they ride the elevator up Avenger’s Tower. It’s not strictly true; Tony knows Steve has and absolutely will punch a Nazi, if the opportunity arises. It’s not even that much of a stretch that it happened this time.

“You’re surprised? I can’t believe there are still Nazis left to punch,” Steve replies, as the elevator pings and the doors slide open. They step out into the foyer. “I spent months pretending to punch Hitler to raise money for bonds and years after that punching real Nazis, sometimes with my shield. I wake up after sixty-six years on ice, and we’re still entertaining their bullshit _with debate_ when we can offer a…” he coughs, “More direct deterrent?”

He spots Clint watching an action flick on the couch in the sunken living room and calls out to him. “Clint, back me up here. If you knew taking certain actions would lead to getting punched in the face, would you do it?”

Clint leans back, his head turned upside down over the couch to look at them. “I get punched in the face all the time. We all do. We’re Avengers.”

“No, I mean by me specifically,” Steve clarifies.

“Why would you punch me in the face?”

“It’s a hypothetical.”

Clint returns his gaze back to the television, where a series of explosions that would make Michael Bay weep with joy go off. “Well then, no; if it’s you, there’s a 95% chance I’d deserve it anyway.”

“See! Maybe if we start punching Nazis in the face–”

“Whoa, we’re talking Nazis?” Clint turns to face them now, granting Steve his full attention. “Sorry, I have a functioning brain and am capable of rational thought. I don’t know what they’d do. Probably cry about it like people are attacking them for no reason. The victim complex in those guys is strong.”

Tony pinches the space between his closed eyes. “It’s not that simple. You could be charged with assault. Do you want to go to jail over a Nazi? They’re not worth it.” He looks up at Steve. “You’re lucky you were turned away from the camera, and no one can identify you.”

“He was dressed up like Captain America, Tony. They were trying to co-opt my image. You want me to what? Just let them have Captain America? Sit back and allow them gain followers under my shield?”

“No…”

“Than what are you suggesting?”

* * *

“T minus 5 minutes, sweetheart,” Steve says, as he knocks on their hotel bathroom. He’s already dressed in his Captain America outfit, holding his shield which has been buffed to a shine.

“Say the magic words, Cap.”

“Don’t tell me you were serious about that.” He waits approximately thirty-six seconds before he sighs, ultimately capitulating to his boyfriend’s ridiculous demands. “This is Captain Handsome ordering you to rock and roll on that 45.”

Tony opens the door; his hair is perfectly coiffed and his suit immaculate as he fastens Iron Man cufflinks on his shirt sleeves.

“We’re going to be late.”

Tony is unconcerned. “Is there such a thing as being late for a rally?”

“I just want it to be big. Bigger than the white-nationalist one across town,” Steve says, slightly exasperated. “Remember: All eyes on us; don’t let the other side have any air time whatsoever.”

“And don’t engage; don’t feed into their whole ‘white men are so oppressed we can’t even gather peacefully without violence’ narrative. I remember; do you?”

Steve has to admit, “This is still not as satisfying as a quick punch to the face.”

“But it is more effective. Nazis recruit through theater; we need to deny them that,” Tony states, as they exit their suite, heading towards the elevator. “Let them scream into the wind like the hysterical man-children they are; no one will be around to hear, and hell, I’ve already pledged a thousand bucks for every yard they march to be donated to various civil rights charities. They want to march a mile? Fine. That’s $1.76M to the Southern Poverty Law Center and NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund.”

Steve presses the button down and kisses Tony on the corner of his grin. “Have I told you recently how much I love you?”

“Yes, but it doesn’t hurt to hear it again.”

“Love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you, too. Now, let’s get out there and shake your money maker for a good cause.”

“Tony…”

Behind his sunglasses, the man’s eyes are wide and suspiciously innocent. “What? I was talking about your shield.”


End file.
